Autopilot

Having spent the last 18 years in full time education and four of those in part time employment, I sometimes wonder how I've just carried on and stuck to it all and got this far. It's not like I like uni, I hate doing assignments, and it's not like school was heaven either and work, well I dunno man. I've realised that I'm not exactly in control of what I do with myself. It's all about expectations. Expectations from people and from my parents and society in general. For someone like me who's not a self motivator, the only thing that keeps me going is that I've got a timetable and that my diary tells me what to do each day. I've come this far by living on a schedule and without it I'd probably not get out of bed till late in the afternoon and vegetate all day. It takes a lot of will when I haven't got anything to do on the day just to get up and do stuff. It's strange but if you really think about it, a lot of us rely on a schedule to get things done... or at least I do. And when I do go about my business attending lectures and going to work I'm just going through the motions and doing everything on auto-drive because that's what my diary told me to get up and do. Hopefully nobody writes in my diary that I've got to go and rob someone coz I'll probably just get up and do it coz my schedule tells me to.